is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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