that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
