So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
