Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
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