never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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