Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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