Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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