You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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