Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
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