Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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