Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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