you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize