oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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