Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
