If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
