google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
