Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
