so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
