You're my little dorito
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
