At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
