there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
