we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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