almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
