dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize