im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Randomize
