just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
