It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Randomize
