I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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