Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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