come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
