I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
