Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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