I want to walk on stilts...naked
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
