i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
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