i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
