we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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