Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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