I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
