We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize