WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
