I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
