I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
