I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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