At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..