He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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