Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
