Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
