he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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