She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
