and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
