Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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