That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there were birth control emojis
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize