What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
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There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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