well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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