Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
