I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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