Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Randomize
