exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
