I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize