If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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