I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
