I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
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I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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