everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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