great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
