Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize