don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
