Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
