You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
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Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
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You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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