she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
