Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
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