I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize