While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy sore nipples Batman
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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