I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
